Thank you for today’s posting. You speak from your heart, and admit to your vulnerability. As I thought about it afterward, I worked to find the words that echoed my reaction. The moment seeing the deer was: “Terrifying, sad and unavoidable.” It occurred to me that those words also describe the world outside me. I feel like the ground under me has turned to a kind of quicksand. I won’t sink, I know that …….. but terrifying, sad and unavoidable. Your website is a lifeline.
Gratitude is my lifeline out of the quicksand. Everywhere are “hands” hauling me out. Then I become the hands . . . Bless you, Noreen. Glad you’re here.
“Poetry is what happens when words become art,” said internationally acclaimed poet, malakani bandele . The Louisville, KY native was the guest poet for for the Griot Collective of West Tennessee’s Visiting Writers Series held last Saturday at the ComeUnity Cafe in Jackson.
bandele introduced those present to two styles of poetry that he created called The Bop and Be-Bop. The forms fuse poetry and jazz and challenges a poet’s ability to maintain structure and discipline in writing.
Thank you so much for your Riff, poem and song. I’ll only comment on your song as I have been spent for so long I’ve come to the conclusion that being truly human one must attempt to save oneself so that our compassionate nature may truly blossom. I guess the question is: Who cares for the caregiver as one’s family falls apart, the strangers we meet along the way are suffering and the world go to war except for the war we should all be fighting against climate change. I’m so very, very tired…. Unfortunately, love is not enough to save the world. It takes action….
Running on Fumes at the MacEwen’s Gas Station
in Riverside South Ottawa
Help someone’s soul heal.
Rumi
These days I’m often running on fumes, like the day at dusk in early March
when I pulled into MacEwen’s Gas Station. I was instantly aware
that the driver of the grey van in the adjacent fuelling lane
was staring at me. Her hands and pleading eyes
motioned me to come closer. It was only
then that I noticed the inside of her
van overflowing with her life—
her salvaged possessions,
her shattered dreams,
her broken life.
Looking directly into my eyes she said,
I live in this van. I need help.
I’m not a bad person.
I opened my wallet, but I was unable to fully acknowledge
her pain— perhaps share a meal, listen to her story.
I opened my wallet and my heart to her
suffering, but she was in need
of so much more than
I was capable
of giving.
These days it’s hard holding myself together, let alone the strangers I meet
along the way. Often I’m outta gas, running on fumes. It’s at times like
these when I know it's my soul that needs healing. Now is a time
when I want nothing more than to escape. In my reverie
Oh Bob . . . I hear your weariness, as well as your big heart. And I’m right there with you. Self-compassion is so important. And love is action, not a la-la feeling. Sometimes our love-in-action is external, sometimes internal—offered via the energies of spirit from a place of retreat and solitude. Don’t underestimate that, please. We need renewal. Joy is the fuel, or we run dry—joy in the sense of deep-rooted gratitude for being alive. This is where I’m coming from. Any of it resonate? Keep using your writing as fuel too . . . Bless you.
Good morning Phyllis, thank you for your comments that do resonate with me. Yes indeed, love is action, yet how we love is so very, very important. In the midst of it all I’m grateful for being, just need some time to rekindle, to experience life away from the din and heart-ache that saps my energy. My cathedral is the forest and that is where I need to go. I am grateful to know you through your words of caring, kindness and grace. Love to you and your loved ones…
Good morning Nancy, I agree that love can be a verb, and also a noun. At times love is not enough. How we love is so very, very important. Thank you for your comment.
Wow, what a powerful story, poem and song. I was so moved listening to your video. In May my partner and I hit a doe. It was very traumatic and I still feel haunted. We held hands as I sobbed over her warm lifeless body in the ditch, her round belly likely with fawn. I kept saying I’m so sorry but that felt pointless. Your poem is riveting, especially that last line: Not all light is meant for the living. I will chew on that. Thank you.
Beautiful, Phyllis. Thank you so much for sharing yourself through your poem (which I love) and your music (which I don't want to sing, or I'll scare the dogs).
Lovely lyrics! What struck me especially is that the aspects you mention--love, joy, peace, and understanding (wisdom)--are four of the eight aspects of God that Paramhansa Yogananda identified as ways in which God is experienced. The other four are light, sound, power, and calmness (which is experienced in action vs. peace, which is experienced in stillness). So, your lyrics said to me: what makes us truly human is that we are, each one of us, channels for the divine...the here and now mystery, as you put it.
What a nice riff in response to the song, Kiran! And it resonates with me very much. I was particularly interested in the distinction between calmness and peace. I wonder if equanimity would be synonymous with calmness as you’re describing it.
I think so--being even-minded and cheerful in the face of daily battles is very much the aspect of calmness. It really means being in a state of awareness in which you can respond appropriately and mindfully rather than merely reacting. As an example, a few years ago my son and I were doing a burn pile and some embers ignited some leaves about 30 feet away. Instead of freaking out, we just did what was needed with water and shovels--we acted quickly and energetically, but not fearfully or frenetically. That's why calmness/equanimity is dynamic: it doesn't mean you sit back and say pax vobiscum or such, it means doing what's necessary without losing your inner peace/poise. And it's actually much more effective than freaking out, because equanimity helps you do the right thing instead of digging yourself a deeper hole. :) I've seen it work time and time again.
Simply wonderful., your playing and delivery of the lyrics.. What is the mystery? Perhaps the fact of our continuing to keep showing up in the search........?
Your are a wonderful, loving, creative human.
I second that!
Well now. Thank you, Terry. If you see that in me, may I be a mirror to you.
“What makes us human? (Love)
What is the mystery? (Love)”
Two days ago you posted this:
🎶. “I believe in love and I live my life accordingly
But I choose to let the mystery be”
Let the mystery be.
As the angst tries to burden us and
make our loads heavy,
we must travel lightly, unencumbered.
Release what we can and
share the load with those
willing to carry a bit of it with us.
Thanks for sharing.
I hear you.
“Your haunted eyes belong to us all.”
Travel lightly, Phyllis.
I’m happy to help you travel more lightly, even as you do me. Thank you, my friend Nancy.
Thank you Phyllis for blessing us with your inspiring words and music! I pray that we all continue to grow in our demonstrations of love! ♥️
You’re so welcome! Let’s grow together!
And I forgot to say your song was my song for the day, nice voice! 👏
Well, that’s kind of you! I enjoy singing but don’t really know how.
Absolutely beautiful and soul-wrenching. All of it. The story. The poem. The song. Thank you so much for sharing.
Thank you, Carolyn. I’m grateful for you.
Thanks for being with me.
Your eyes shine bright in love.
May I reflect the love back to all the living and that includes our earth mother.
Let’s reflect and shine together!
Thank you for today’s posting. You speak from your heart, and admit to your vulnerability. As I thought about it afterward, I worked to find the words that echoed my reaction. The moment seeing the deer was: “Terrifying, sad and unavoidable.” It occurred to me that those words also describe the world outside me. I feel like the ground under me has turned to a kind of quicksand. I won’t sink, I know that …….. but terrifying, sad and unavoidable. Your website is a lifeline.
Gratitude is my lifeline out of the quicksand. Everywhere are “hands” hauling me out. Then I become the hands . . . Bless you, Noreen. Glad you’re here.
I love the style and flow of this piece. Recently workshopped on Jazz and BeBop Poetry with m bandele
Tell me more please about your workshop experience?
Griot Workshop Fuses Poetry and Jazz
“Poetry is what happens when words become art,” said internationally acclaimed poet, malakani bandele . The Louisville, KY native was the guest poet for for the Griot Collective of West Tennessee’s Visiting Writers Series held last Saturday at the ComeUnity Cafe in Jackson.
bandele introduced those present to two styles of poetry that he created called The Bop and Be-Bop. The forms fuse poetry and jazz and challenges a poet’s ability to maintain structure and discipline in writing.
Thank you so much for your Riff, poem and song. I’ll only comment on your song as I have been spent for so long I’ve come to the conclusion that being truly human one must attempt to save oneself so that our compassionate nature may truly blossom. I guess the question is: Who cares for the caregiver as one’s family falls apart, the strangers we meet along the way are suffering and the world go to war except for the war we should all be fighting against climate change. I’m so very, very tired…. Unfortunately, love is not enough to save the world. It takes action….
Running on Fumes at the MacEwen’s Gas Station
in Riverside South Ottawa
Help someone’s soul heal.
Rumi
These days I’m often running on fumes, like the day at dusk in early March
when I pulled into MacEwen’s Gas Station. I was instantly aware
that the driver of the grey van in the adjacent fuelling lane
was staring at me. Her hands and pleading eyes
motioned me to come closer. It was only
then that I noticed the inside of her
van overflowing with her life—
her salvaged possessions,
her shattered dreams,
her broken life.
Looking directly into my eyes she said,
I live in this van. I need help.
I’m not a bad person.
I opened my wallet, but I was unable to fully acknowledge
her pain— perhaps share a meal, listen to her story.
I opened my wallet and my heart to her
suffering, but she was in need
of so much more than
I was capable
of giving.
These days it’s hard holding myself together, let alone the strangers I meet
along the way. Often I’m outta gas, running on fumes. It’s at times like
these when I know it's my soul that needs healing. Now is a time
when I want nothing more than to escape. In my reverie
I imagine myself soaring in sacred silence under
magnificent white cumulus clouds, rising
on thermals high above the suffering
and the shattered dreams of
our broken
world.
March 1, 2023
Oh Bob . . . I hear your weariness, as well as your big heart. And I’m right there with you. Self-compassion is so important. And love is action, not a la-la feeling. Sometimes our love-in-action is external, sometimes internal—offered via the energies of spirit from a place of retreat and solitude. Don’t underestimate that, please. We need renewal. Joy is the fuel, or we run dry—joy in the sense of deep-rooted gratitude for being alive. This is where I’m coming from. Any of it resonate? Keep using your writing as fuel too . . . Bless you.
Good morning Phyllis, thank you for your comments that do resonate with me. Yes indeed, love is action, yet how we love is so very, very important. In the midst of it all I’m grateful for being, just need some time to rekindle, to experience life away from the din and heart-ache that saps my energy. My cathedral is the forest and that is where I need to go. I am grateful to know you through your words of caring, kindness and grace. Love to you and your loved ones…
May you enter the cathedral soon.
I think love is a verb...which IS action. Don’t ya think? 🤔☺️
Yes ma'am!
Good morning Nancy, I agree that love can be a verb, and also a noun. At times love is not enough. How we love is so very, very important. Thank you for your comment.
"In the tender
young man, sapling bent double
by the bags of doubt hanging
from his branches"
I know two of these men; they are my twin sons...
My heart is with yours. (My son, too.)
Wow, what a powerful story, poem and song. I was so moved listening to your video. In May my partner and I hit a doe. It was very traumatic and I still feel haunted. We held hands as I sobbed over her warm lifeless body in the ditch, her round belly likely with fawn. I kept saying I’m so sorry but that felt pointless. Your poem is riveting, especially that last line: Not all light is meant for the living. I will chew on that. Thank you.
Bless you, Jeanette. (I’d originally titled this poem “Doe.” I might need to change it back—for you.)
Beautiful, Phyllis. Thank you so much for sharing yourself through your poem (which I love) and your music (which I don't want to sing, or I'll scare the dogs).
Oh, but the dogs might have howled along! 😜
Or they might have run!
My granddad Cole was tone deaf but he sure loved to sing. The dogs (and people) got over it! Have a sweet day.
Your comment made me laugh - have a sweet day yourself, Phyllis!
Well, the gift is teaching you well😄
What a sweet way to put it!
Lovely lyrics! What struck me especially is that the aspects you mention--love, joy, peace, and understanding (wisdom)--are four of the eight aspects of God that Paramhansa Yogananda identified as ways in which God is experienced. The other four are light, sound, power, and calmness (which is experienced in action vs. peace, which is experienced in stillness). So, your lyrics said to me: what makes us truly human is that we are, each one of us, channels for the divine...the here and now mystery, as you put it.
Nicely done. :)
What a nice riff in response to the song, Kiran! And it resonates with me very much. I was particularly interested in the distinction between calmness and peace. I wonder if equanimity would be synonymous with calmness as you’re describing it.
I think so--being even-minded and cheerful in the face of daily battles is very much the aspect of calmness. It really means being in a state of awareness in which you can respond appropriately and mindfully rather than merely reacting. As an example, a few years ago my son and I were doing a burn pile and some embers ignited some leaves about 30 feet away. Instead of freaking out, we just did what was needed with water and shovels--we acted quickly and energetically, but not fearfully or frenetically. That's why calmness/equanimity is dynamic: it doesn't mean you sit back and say pax vobiscum or such, it means doing what's necessary without losing your inner peace/poise. And it's actually much more effective than freaking out, because equanimity helps you do the right thing instead of digging yourself a deeper hole. :) I've seen it work time and time again.
Simply wonderful., your playing and delivery of the lyrics.. What is the mystery? Perhaps the fact of our continuing to keep showing up in the search........?
I love your response to the song’s question, Don. And you certainly “keep showing up in the search.” Thank you!