"When I am clueless we are one." What a profound statement! I'm going to sit with that . . . In the meaning, thank you for this sharing, Nancy, and for your ministry of presence through hospice. Bless you.
As a pastor some of this is what I too would do even if the person wasn't in hospice. I had several people with detention and for some, I didn't know any family members. Singing old familiar hymns often brought a smile or they would stir in their beds. Even though I may have been clueless about this person I knew that he/she was a child of God and that God intimately knew who this person was. God did not need a clue.
I loved playing the board game CLUE when I was a child. I still have my original board. The only piece I had to replace was the lead pipe. Although you now can look up the characters (and some have changed) I'm writing down how I thought they were when I was a child. I realized that I don't remember anything about Mr. Boddy - the murder victim - so I started speculating about him. We'll see where this character study goes.
This was the way I saw his name spelled in one version of the game. Other versions know him as Mr Black. Today I wrote about Miss Scarlett who I always viewed as a vapid actress like Ginger on Gilligan’s Island but as I wrote she became a champion for bullied and insecure children who need to develop their self esteem I guess it’s true that often you don’t know where a story will go until you write it.
Paper/Pen - I'm not sure why I chose 'wander' to write about but I began at the outside edge of the page and wrote about wandering as I continued to circle the page working my way toward the center. It was such a great experience of free writing that I don't even remember what I said or why. (Also, the writing got so messy that I can't read it either). It surprised me to notice where there was tension as I wrote in this method - I had a cramp between my thumb and finger and also in my shoulder - strain from not letting up on the contact between pen and paper. Drove me crazy not to dot my 'I's but I did figure out how to cross my 'T's without lifting my pen - lower case 'r' seemed to be the hardest letter to make and keep recognizable. I may try this again with a different writing pattern.
CLUELESS
As a Hospice volunteer,
when I sit with someone who is actively dying, I:
- introduce myself
- look about the room for clues to their essence while they were
actively living
- watch them breathe
- touch their arm
- pray and imagine their soul and their body kissing each other good-bye
- hold the space
- fall in love with a stranger
Oh, how we cling to our bodies without even thinking about it,
then one day or over many days, it is time to say good-bye.
This sitting with someone,
it is called Transitions,
body and soul in liminal space about to become something
new.
It is sacred space.
What an honor for me to be a conduit.
To be present during this time.
I love it when I find clues to their authentic self,
whether through photos or art about the room,
or a family member who wants to share their story.
But even when I remain clueless to who they are,
this fellow human is experiencing something universal.
I almost prefer it.
When I am clueless we are one.
"When I am clueless we are one." What a profound statement! I'm going to sit with that . . . In the meaning, thank you for this sharing, Nancy, and for your ministry of presence through hospice. Bless you.
As a pastor some of this is what I too would do even if the person wasn't in hospice. I had several people with detention and for some, I didn't know any family members. Singing old familiar hymns often brought a smile or they would stir in their beds. Even though I may have been clueless about this person I knew that he/she was a child of God and that God intimately knew who this person was. God did not need a clue.
Beautiful, Eunice.
I loved playing the board game CLUE when I was a child. I still have my original board. The only piece I had to replace was the lead pipe. Although you now can look up the characters (and some have changed) I'm writing down how I thought they were when I was a child. I realized that I don't remember anything about Mr. Boddy - the murder victim - so I started speculating about him. We'll see where this character study goes.
Oooh. Was the pun ("Mr. Boddy") intentional, I wonder? Anyway, see where it goes . . .
This was the way I saw his name spelled in one version of the game. Other versions know him as Mr Black. Today I wrote about Miss Scarlett who I always viewed as a vapid actress like Ginger on Gilligan’s Island but as I wrote she became a champion for bullied and insecure children who need to develop their self esteem I guess it’s true that often you don’t know where a story will go until you write it.
There's the heart of it: "you don’t know where a story will go until you write it." And that's the heart of the truth of our lives, too.
Paper/Pen - I'm not sure why I chose 'wander' to write about but I began at the outside edge of the page and wrote about wandering as I continued to circle the page working my way toward the center. It was such a great experience of free writing that I don't even remember what I said or why. (Also, the writing got so messy that I can't read it either). It surprised me to notice where there was tension as I wrote in this method - I had a cramp between my thumb and finger and also in my shoulder - strain from not letting up on the contact between pen and paper. Drove me crazy not to dot my 'I's but I did figure out how to cross my 'T's without lifting my pen - lower case 'r' seemed to be the hardest letter to make and keep recognizable. I may try this again with a different writing pattern.
What an experiment! And I love how you kept letting go of the resistances you felt in order to keep going!